Newsletter #2 Things I’m Thinking About*
Transitions
As I list my Burbank house to sell this week, the one my kids grew up in, I am having all the feels. That house has meant a lot to me (us). I bought it on my own, post divorce, in LA County; it is an accomplishment I’ve always been quite proud of. It is very small, but very sweet, and has always been filled with laughter and love. Even though for the first several years nothing matched, it was always cluttered, and repair projects were put off way longer than was necessary. Even my kids’ friends are sad about letting go. I’ve hosted hundreds of podcast guests there over the years, lots of gatherings, and teenagers who needed a place to stay. I guess the biggest last hurrah, though I didn’t realize it at the time, was hosting our wedding pre-ception there in the backyard in 2022. It was such a joyous celebration of friendship and love and new beginnings that I look back on with joy.
I moved out of it a year ago, so this is not an abrupt change, but more like the final piece of the letting go. It’s time to thank it for its service and close the chapter.
There are still many unknowns on the horizon, like where will we gather for Christmas and more specifically, where will we host our annual PowerPoint Night, which is quickly becoming The Event.
I talked about some of this in more depth with Laura Rebell Gross on Deep Work Out Loud.
This came up in the context of mid-life transitions and how so many women we talk to are in some kind of transformation, and as Laura put it simply and perfectly: we're moving out of the pleaser era and into the please me era. Finding more purpose with less hustle. More joy, fewer obligations we've outgrown. If you were born between 1968 and 1980, I suspect this one hits.
Some Coaching News
Many of my individual clients are leaders who are killing themselves trying to figure out why managing people feels so much harder than doing the work used to. These are high performers with a lot of evidence of their success. They are doers, highly competent, and have always figured it out. But now they find themselves leading people and it feels like the game has changed. The success doesn’t feel as tangible or come as easily and instinctively as it has before. Something feels stuck and they suspect they are working way too hard, even though they have a team. Something needs to shift.
In response to this, I’m launching a group coaching cohort to work through this together. If this is you, six months from now, you'll lead differently. Not by working harder or reading another book on delegation — but because you’ll finally understand what's been in the way. You'll stop over-functioning for your team. You'll make decisions with less second-guessing. You’ll think about feedback differently and with less anxiety. And you'll have a small group of peers who got there with you. This will be 6 sessions over six months, incorporating coaching, some curriculum, and peer support. It’s so important to learn this is very common and you are not alone in the struggle.
I plan to launch in April and I’m openly recruiting now. I have a few more spots to fill and I’d love for them to be referrals. If you or someone you know would benefit from this type of work, please reach out to schedule an informational call about it. More information is also available here.
Another thing that has become clearer to me lately is that something is shifting. The world feels noisy and unstable and, let's be real, pretty terrifying. And yet, in the middle of all of that, I'm watching people turn inward to ask, If the old rules don't apply anymore, what actually matters to me? What have I been putting off that I now know I can't keep ignoring?
More and more people want to use their voice, their vision, their passion to do something that matters. Some of them came in thinking they just needed to rearrange their job to give themselves more space. By the end of the conversation, they realized that's not actually it. They're done talking themselves out of the dream.
I wrote a long version of this here if you’d like to read more.
What the Podcast Is Exploring This Month
In addition to the episode with Laura Rebell Gross, these episodes have come out between the last newsletter and this one. It’s a bit more than a month, but this will get us caught up. Here’s your homework to do while commuting, puttering, exercising - whatever:
Alignment isn't a luxury — it's a diagnosis. Ron Pratt of the Altera Collective broke down something I wish I'd had language for twenty years ago: when work feels off, it's usually not about you — it's about the fit. Did you hear that? We don’t have to make it about us and our failings and not being good enough. Here’s the framework: Values, motivators, interests, personality. When those are misaligned, you feel it in your body before you can name it. The gift is learning to listen to that signal and use it as a map, not a verdict on your worth. 🎧 [Listen to the Ron Pratt episode]
Presence is a practice and a privilege. Dr. Matt Kodsi, former Chief Medical Officer turned coach, talked about what it costs us when we're never really here. Not just for others, but for ourselves. Though “multi-tasking is cocaine” it actually costs us a lot. Also, despite how you might feel, you’re probably not faking it that well.🎧 [Listen to the Matt Kodsi episode]
Heart wounds show up at work. Krista Johnson, who leads executive coaching at Saks Global, brought the concept of heart wounds into the conversation — those early emotional patterns that once kept us safe but now quietly run the show. Perfectionism. Hyper-independence. Hypervigilance. Sound familiar? They got us here. But at some point, we get to decide: is this serving me or preventing me from showing up how I want to? 🎧 [Listen to the Krista Johnson episode]
Finding your people takes intention. Lauren Collier of the Friendship Project dropped a stat that I haven't been able to shake: 46% of adults say they have no true friends. We're all a little alone in our loneliness right now. And despite all the think pieces out there, it’s not just men. There is a 1% difference between men and women here. Her work, and this conversation, is about building real connection with intentionality. 🎧 [Listen to the Lauren Collier episode]
Nature might be the reset we're all missing. Laura London introduced me to forest therapy, and even though I came in as the skeptic (surprise!), I left with a deeper understanding and respect. The idea of slowing down enough to feel your feet on the ground, to actually be somewhere in nature instead of just moving through it, is not wasted time. That's the work. 🎧 [Listen to the Laura London episode]
Authenticity might be harder than we think. Karen Jones explored the trust triangle — empathy, logic, and authenticity — and got honest about which one wobbles for her. In an industry built on shapeshifting, how do you find your way back to what's real? And how do you show up as yourself when it hasn't always felt safe to do that? 🎧 [Listen to the Karen Jones episode]
And as always, you find more links to all the podcast places here:https://linktr.ee/julieharrisoliver
A Question to Sit With
What have you been whispering to yourself — about who you want to be, the work you want to do, the life you want to live — that maybe it's time to say out loud?
I'd love to hear what's coming up for you.
Until next month,
Julie
*all M dashes are my own
Julie Harris Oliver is an executive coach and the host of Deep Work Out Loud. You can work with her at julieharrisoliver.com